Warning Signs

A batterer often uses fear and intimidation as a means to control. These tactics serve to isolate the victim and often are followed by incidents of physical abuse. Answering the following questions will help you determine whether or not you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship. A “yes” answer to even half of these questions indicates that you are headed down a path that could, ultimately, be emotionally and physically dangerous.

Do​ ​you​ ​feel​ ​like​ ​a​ ​child​ ​in​ ​the​ ​relationship,​ ​having​ ​to​ ​ask​ ​permission​ ​and​ ​apologizing​ ​for your​ ​behavior?

Do​ ​you​ ​feel​ ​powerless​ ​and​ ​“less​ ​than”​ ​your​ ​lover​ ​or​ ​mate?
Have​ ​you​ ​stopped​ ​seeing​ ​your​ ​friends​ ​and​ ​family?
Does​ ​your​ ​partner​ ​criticize​ ​your​ ​friends​ ​and​ ​family​ ​members?

Did​ ​your​ ​partner​ ​complain​ ​so​ ​much​ ​when​ ​you​ ​saw​ ​them​ ​in​ ​the​ ​past​ ​that​ ​you​ ​finally stopped​ ​seeing​ ​them​ ​altogether​ ​so​ ​you​ ​wouldn’t​ ​have​ ​to​ ​argue​ ​about​ ​it?

Do​ ​you​ ​believe​ ​that​ ​you​ ​are​ ​to​ ​blame​ ​for​ ​your​ ​partner’s​ ​problems?
Do​ ​you​ ​feel​ ​you​ ​are​ ​mostly​ ​responsible​ ​for​ ​the​ ​problems​ ​with​ ​the​ ​relationship?
Does​ ​your​ ​partner’s​ ​personality​ ​change​ ​when​ ​he/she​ ​drinks​ ​alcohol?

Are​ ​you​ ​ashamed​ ​to​ ​see​ ​your​ ​friends​ ​or​ ​family​ ​because​ ​of​ ​your​ ​partner’s​ ​behavior​ ​and  because​ ​you​ ​are​ ​embarrassed​ ​at​ ​how​ ​your​ ​partner​ ​treats​ ​you?

Does​ ​your​ ​partner​ ​use​ ​humor​ ​to​ ​put​ ​you​ ​down​ ​or​ ​degrade​ ​you?
Does​ ​your​ ​partner​ ​find​ ​it​ ​hard​ ​to​ ​apologize​ ​or​ ​to​ ​admit​ ​when​ ​in​ ​the​ ​wrong?
Does​ ​your​ ​partner​ ​make​ ​excuses​ ​for​ ​their​ ​behavior​ ​or​ ​always​ ​blame​ ​others​ ​for​ ​their​ ​actions?
Does​ ​your​ ​partner​ ​try​ ​to​ ​take​ ​advantage​ ​of​ ​you​ ​sexually​ ​or​ ​make​ ​unreasonable​ ​sexual​ ​demands​ ​on you?
Does​ ​your​ ​partner​ ​usually​ ​get​ ​their​ ​way​ ​in​ ​deciding​ ​when​ ​and​ ​where​ ​the​ ​two​ ​of​ ​you​ ​will​ ​go?
Does​ ​your​ ​partner​ ​control​ ​or​ ​disapprove​ ​of​ ​your​ ​spending​ ​but​ ​seem​ ​to​ ​have​ ​no​ ​problems​ ​with personal​ ​spending?

Yes​ ​to​ ​these​ ​questions?​ ​Call​ ​us at (410)​ ​889-7884.

*This​ ​material​ ​was​ ​adapted​ ​from​ ​Beverly​ ​Engel’s​ ​book:​ ​The​ ​Emotionally​ ​Abused​ ​Woman.